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Nothing gets me close to throwing me computer out the window besides a bunch of things… but especially when I’m trying to read an article and advertisements keep popping up all over the screen. The worst ones are the ads that take up the whole god damn screen, and they have a tiny little close box that you can never hit without accidentally clicking on the fucking ad; which redirects you to another website. Some ads don’t even let you close out of the video for about 30 seconds. Really? I have to wait 30 seconds to fucking read? Reading is already super boring, you should be happy that I’m even doing it, now you want me to be bored for 30 seconds before I am bored? This is outrageous.

Then there are the ads that don’t pop up right away. They slide down from the top of the screen when you’re in paragraph three. Can you believe we put up with this shit? The sliding ads are the same exact thing as if you were sitting on a bench reading the newspaper and some kid just kept slapping the top of it. Would you put up with some shit head kid slapping your paper making it fold over? No you wouldn’t. So we shouldn’t put up with it online either.

I have no problem with places making money. I understand you need to pay staff. But put ads on a banner or the top, or on the side. I would even accept when you went to leave the page after reading an ad pops up real fast. But when I’m reading a story it’s because I’m interested in the information. I’m interested in the news, I’m not shopping around for fucking laundry detergent.

Who came up with this method of advertising? Who thought, “you know a great way to advertise our sitcom no one wants to watch? We piss people off really bad with a floating ad while they’re trying to read about the war in Syria!” I’m not just blaming the advertisers here. I’M LOOKING AT YOU TOO WEBSITES THAT DO THIS SHIT! Must we always be trying to make money every second of everyday, of every click? LET THE PEOPLE READ UNINTERRUPTED! None of this even mentions that this advertising is completely ineffective; by the time I get my vision back after a brief rage black out, I don’t even remember what was being advertised.

This ridiculous in your face advertising shows the people one thing… websites don’t actually care if you read their stories. They throw up a flashy headline, blast you in the face with ads causing you to leave the site, you never actually read what you wanted to read, and they made a bunch of money.

We need to go back to newspapers. It’s much easier to skip past a full page Macy’s ad.

Also, I chose the picture of Spam because we used to call these pop ups “spam.” Also again, because Spam is soooo fucking good and I’m not even joking. Fry it up in a pan, throw it on toast with some ketchup, magnifique!

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