Home

In recent why am I watching this news, Lu Lu the male panda has set a new world record for longest panda sex session. Lu Lu and his partner Xi Mei lasted over 18 minutes in a recent romp that took place after an expensive dinner with her parents.

While Lu Lu’s performance was no doubt impressive, offering up multiple positions including, doggy style, reserve cowgirl, and sideways, Xi Mei’s frustration can be seen around 7:20 in the video when right as Lu is cumming she reaches around and punches him right in the head screaming, “not yet you asshole!”

Lu in a state of confusion responded, “what do you want from me lady? I just set a fucking world record and you’re still giving me shit?”

Right before Xi Mei walked off she could be heard saying, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”

Lu Lu spoke to The National Something saying, “I just don’t know what she wants from me. I’ve only got so much energy. I mean I worked all day, I just sat through a two hour dinner with her parents. ” Lu went on to add, “a dinner WHICH I PAID FOR BY THE WAY,” just loud enough for Xi Mei to hear it. “All the other female pandas are fine with a minute and a half, I find the one broad who wants me to be Greg Welch, Lu stated right before storming out the door.

Xi Mei chased him screaming, “Yeah just leave! RUN OFF LU! Go spend some more time down by the eucalyptus with those koalas, WE ALL KNOW THAT’S WHAT YOU WISH I LOOKED LIKE.”

Yikes. It certainly is pandamonium down here.

Leave a Reply